Something's Missing

"When autumn comes, it doesn't ask

It just walks in, where it left you last

You never know, where it starts

Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart."

-Something's Missing

John Mayer

These are some of my favorite song lyrics ever. I've always tried to apply them to my life, especially during the autumn months. Usually I probably end up construing them in such a way that they don't make sense or don't have they same meaning as John Mayer intended. However, this weekend, they really were fitting with the state of my life.

I was driving back home for my grandma's birthday when all of a sudden I realized the leaves on the trees were changing to beautiful oranges and reds. It scared me a little because I realized that I almost missed fall, which happens to be my favorite season. At first I was glad I didn't miss my favorite change of season. Yet, a few seconds later, I realized I would be missing the rest of October. There's no time to play in the leaves when you're trying to pull above a 3.0 your first semester of law school. My temporary joy was turned into disappointment. I wonder when I'll get to do nothing but sit in the park and enjoy a fall day. "It's only three years," is what everyone keeps telling me. Yeah, only three years until I'm working 70 hours a week as an associate.

To make my things even worse, tonight as I walked out of the law school for my dinner break between my hardcore study sessions, I noticed how it was one of the most gorgeous evenings I've experienced in quite a long time. Unfortunately, I was only able to experience it for the five minute walk to my car. Apparently, today it was about 80 degrees outside. I, however, was indoors most of the day. The only time I was outside was when I had to walk to and from my car to get to school. I tried to take advantage of the weather the best I could by rolling down the car windows instead of turning on the air conditioner like I usually do. But tonight was one of those nights where all you want to do is go on a walk with one of your closest friends and talk about anything and everything (except law school, of course).

I'm thinking about investing in one of those wireless internet cards the mobile phone companies have been advertising. Even if I'm doing my homework (isn't the word "homework" a little juvenile for law school?) it wouldn't be so bad if I could sit under a shady tree or on a park bench. The only thing is that by the time I ever get around to doing that, there will be snow on the ground which would make enjoying the foliage a little difficult. Maybe this spring.

However, I've been trying to concentrate on my reading a lot more. I used to just read to get the main idea, assuming the professor would just go over the details and what I didn't understand during class the next day. Turns out, that is no where near what I should be doing in terms of preparing for class. One day I had completely read through the assignment THREE times, briefed the corresponding case, looked up every term I did not know or even questioned the context in which it was used, and made a vocabulary sheet. Apparently, the professor thought that was still not enough preparation. At first glance, the law looks pretty cut and dry and that the most law school is, is three years of memorization. Turns out, it's not. Expect anything. There are things my professors can pull out of a case that I never thought was possible. Then I feel dumb for not seeing it myself. So, that leads me to locking myself in the library until I finish and understand every assignment. The only problem is, sometimes I still can't get it all done before class. So, I've been working on my property assignment since 4:30 and at 8:30 I still was not done. Additionally, I still have my Civil Procedure assignment to read... and understand. With that being said, I would like to get six hours of sleep tonight. I don't know if it will happen, but I better get to work.